I went on a silent meditation retreat

This is for my fellow over-thinkers, Eldest Daughters and Virgos

Two things surprise people when they meet me in-person after following my work online. The first is that I’m much shorter than they imagined. At 5”4 (163cm) I’m average height, but somehow my online persona projects as someone taller. The second is that my energy is more… excited? vivacious? buzzy? a tad unhinged? When meeting a long-term trainee IRL once, she goes, “Honestly Claire, it’s a relief to hear you sound agitated, you always seem to have it together.”

This makes sense to me. Much of my working life happens online, where I bring my most calm and grounded self to spaces where I’m coaching, teaching, leading or facilitating. If we’re talking in masculine/feminine dynamics, then I see the coach’s role as being quite masculine; I’m the one who erects the infrastructure to build the place for you to softly land. In my opinion, great space holders are responsible for maintaining structure and containment so that our clients and students can have the experiences they need to have — I want you to flail around a bit, open up, feel what’s alive, I’ve got you.

But of course, in my ‘real life’, I flail too. I over-think things. I analyse. I predict and plan and reflect constantly. I’m a Virgo Eldest Daughter. This is what we do!

Here’s a little story for you. My partner and I spent January in India. While there, we visited an Ayuverdic doctor. Taking Adam’s hand, this doctor looked into my love’s deep and dark brown eyes, checked his tongue and felt his pulse, then smiled while confidently delivering his assessment: “calm and steady man, like a mountain.”